The game

Years ago, in one of those obligatory office parties, we were playing a game where we could ask random questions to the other person. Someone asked my ex-boss when was the last time she was happy. And she replied saying she couldn’t remember the last time when.

This was at the start of my career, and I found that answer unbelievable. Though that workplace was nothing short of a boot camp, it was also where I was learning the craft of writing, the first job closer to the kind of writing I wanted to do. And I was happy in so many small and big things everyday, that I found her answer very strange.

When you grow up the ladder, you view the person above you as the embodiment of growth and happiness, I used to think that what I had was great but if I was a rank higher, it would be the very best thing in the world. But as you go up, the burden grows, the interactions get more mechanical and fake, and the insecurity rises. What if someone topples you or replaces you?

The fall from top seems a greater fall than when you had nothing to lose. And today, I realised with a start that much like my previous editor, I, too, am reaching a stage where I can’t seem to remember when I was last at peace and happy, what I feel is rock bottom. The time is ripe for change.


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