To marry or not to marry

A marriage is like a good dish. It requires the right amount of tried and tested techniques, a dash of playfulness and a fistful of innovation. If the mix goes awry, you might land up with something else altogether.

Parents will tell you to stick to the tried and tested techniques. And the younger generation will always root for change and innovation. Somewhere in between lies the path.

In India, things are further complicated by notions of marriages arranged by parents being better than one arranged by yourself.

The other day when dad questioned me whether having an arranged match would not be better (we could have found a groom with more money and property perhaps) than the love match I had in mind.

It upset me but this is a question all parents ask. It’s assumed that a marriage based on social and economic similarities is bound to succeed, while one based on love is not.

I know I will never be able to quantify the affection and kindheartedness of my boyfriend to my dad – how he stayed up nights with me when my mom was in the hospital, how he brought out the goodness in me and encouraged me to take up this job when I was hitting rock bottom, how he accepted dad and me as we are, how he helped us when we were dealing with grief, and made me feel that I could handle any challenge in the world. How can any other person match up to this?

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