Spring has come and gone, making way for summer. And yet for dad and me, it’s still time for spring cleaning; spring cleaning of our home, our souls.
It’s taking its own sweet time because for everything we give up, we have to make corresponding changes in the map of our mind, revisit our memories and add footnotes to them, come to terms with changes.
So far, we have given away mom’s colourful blouses, many of which she wore daily, some she never got to wear at all, especially as she got homebound in the last few years. They were full of colour, just like her. Unlike Gothically-inclined me, she loved colour, all colours.
We have also given up a tableful of homeopathic medicines. This decision was dad’s and though it had to happen, it made me somehow very sad. As we emptied lot after lot of bottles, I felt like a part of my childhood was gone forever. These medicines and medical books have been around me forever, the only true religion we ever had as a family.
With new realities at every step and minus the loving gaze of my mom, I feel rudder less for the first time in my life. I hope life shows me the right way.